Socratic's Muses

Collarless, I am

“Do you think I want to be stuck in your middle income house and your mediocre lifestyle?!!?”

An ex-girlfriend used to taunt me as such.  So when I read last weekend report about “marrying down” and “blue collar worker”, it struck a chord somewhat. 

Majority of my adult life, I have always been collarless- not in the BDSM kind of way. And I have always fancy girls of a certain category. Some people would consider them to be out of my league but honestly I have yet to meet any girl who is above my equal. If I have said that to any girl, it’s probably because I want to give the illusion of control. 

I’ve came across many instance of grievances when people I know complain of someone they knew “marrying down”. It’s even worse when the individual in question is a girl. For a guy, marrying down is no big issue but for a girl it seem to be a big taboo.

At the end of the day I think marriage is no longer about being in love or emotionally and spiritually in sync with your partner. It is about the ability to provide diligently to the expectations of your opposite. Many of us have been taught the way of the world, how much life can offer us-materially at least and this compelled some of us to strive to reach those level on our own accord or piggy back the ride with our chosen partners.  Society unfortunately is an accessory of this crime.

Love, can take a back seat cause to some, love don’t put food on the table.

I on the other hand believe in a journey of material attainment hand in hand with my partner. For she is my equal and not more.  Unfortunately to the person I’ve just quoted, her fear of being stuck in a less stellar and fancy lifestyle, surrounded my mediocrity isn’t her cup of tea. More so to a person with no collar.

To Kill a Mockingbird

For my birthday I’ve bought myself a DVD, Gregory Peck’s To Kill a Mockingbird. It is quite a known fact that I enjoy immensely watching old classic movies. Personally I feel movies during that era were better at telling a story than just engaging an audience. 

To Kill a Mockingbird was adapted from a book written by Harper Lee. It is a story about criminal injustice and racial discrimination. 

I’ve been keeping track, largely on Twitter the progress of the Trayvon Martin’s case. He was shot to death by a Hispanic man by the name of George Zimmerman. Initially Zimmerman wasn’t charge of the offence but due to the public uproar over the matter, he is now being detained and charge with 2nd degree murder by the state attorney. 

I don’t know which is a better term to use, irony or coincidence but some elements in the Martin’s case reminded me of Harper Lee’s story. 

Fact is Zimmerman did shot Martin who was unarmed, allegedly cause during a scuffle between both men. Zimmerman in his defence claimed that he was provoked and was only defending himself. Despite the legal wrangling between both sides and the myriad of public opinions out there, I think many of us have already, beyond any reasonable doubt condemned Zimmerman to be guilty or murder.

In Harper Lee’s novel the accused was a black man that was charged with rape of a white woman. He was judged by a jury of his peers (a jury of all white men) and despite overwhelming doubts and lapses in the case, the man was found guilty of the crime. 

This is the philosophical conundrum and let us take time in giving it a real thought. To what degree do popular culture, mass media and current society affect and contribute to your personal belief system? 

You see in Harper Lee’s novel, the black man, Tom Robinson didn’t live during our time but what if he did? Would he still suffer the same fate as he did in the novel? What about Zimmerman’s? Did we infringe his civil rights and condemned for something that might be or have plausible cause? 

I am convinced that Zimmerman’s is guilty of killing Trayvon Martin. What I am not sure of is occurrence of that action. If there is one thing I have come to learn in my live, is that ALL of us have the ability to kill but the difference between ability and execution is your mental state. Understanding this mental state will determined the culpability of Zimmerman and that of his crime. 

By Ryan O’Connell

When you’re in bed with someone, it feels like you’re trying on different parts of yourself. Even if you’ve been having sex for a long time, there is still something about every experience that feels like The First Time. You slip into a different mode, a different kind of being. Sometimes it feels like the most natural thing on the planet and sometimes it feels completely wrong. You’ll never know until you’re in bed with someone. Then you either try to get out as fast as you can or stay forever.

When you’re in bed with someone, it feels like you’re on an airplane or underground in a subway or taking a really long shower and letting your fingers start to prune. You’re cut off from technology — the supposed heartbeat of your young modern life and you don’t want to ever go back to reality. Want an excuse for not texting someone back or checking your email? Just tell them you were in bed with someone. Everyone will immediately understand and be like, “Oh, okay. Got ya. Go do you!” Sex is an excellent way to go off the grid. Who’s going to challenge you besides an evil celibate monster?

When you’re in bed with someone, the best part is usually the morning after post-coital talk. Now that the cum has been drained from your respective bodies, you can actually be normal and, you know… hang out. These talks are always amazing. Words are uttered with this hushed playfulness that you could only conjure with someone you just hooked up with. Your bodies are naked and desexualized, although that could change with a single touch. Your guard is completely let down. You can talk about whatever you want and it won’t be met with any judgement. I swear, there is no other interaction quite like this one. The kind of conversations you have in bed with someone cannot be recreated when you’re fully-clothed and hanging out at a sushi restaurant, which is what makes them so special.

When you’re in bed with someone, you feel like your life is real and things are happening. I know that sounds ridiculous but look, we spend so much of our time these days behind a computer screen that we often confuse it with a human connection. If we don’t get hugged today, that’s okay because someone liked our Facebook status and that’s practically the same thing, right? Uh, no. Nothing confirms this more than when you’re in bed with someone. A Facebook “like” ain’t got sh-t on a backrub or two people spooning at 5 a.m.

When you’re in bed with someone, you don’t necessarily have to love them in order to achieve intimacy. In fact, it’s amazing how tender you can be with someone without having strong feelings attached. It’s surprising how delicate and sweet you actually can be. Inherently, I would like to believe that we’re all loving and nothing lends more credence to this belief than how you behave in bed.

When you’re in bed with someone, you don’t want to open the blinds and get dressed and leave the room where everything started. When you both leave that bed, it undoes the spell. You immediately snap back to reality and walk with a sense of purpose and flinch when someone tries to touch you. We never try to take the things we learn in bed and apply them to our dealings in real life. They’re kept underneath the covers, ready for us when we return. I guess that’s what makes it so unique and ultimately beautiful.